Why Canadians Over 50 Are Considering Helping Their Children Buy a Home (And Why Many Don’t)

As housing affordability continues to deteriorate across Canada, many parents over the age of 50 are facing a difficult dilemma. Should they step in to help their adult children buy a home? For families sitting on substantial home equity, often built over decades of property ownership, the temptation to offer support is strong. It’s natural to want to help, but there are also reasons to hesitate, such as financial, emotional, and practical concerns.

This tension is common among Canadians in or approaching retirement. They may be sitting on substantial equity; on the other hand, their adult children may be feeling completely priced out of the housing market, facing high prices, interest rates, and limited inventory. While the desire to help is rooted in love and a concern for their children’s future, the risks involved can’t be ignored. 

What Are the Concerns?

In my conversations with parents across the country, I have noticed three core concerns that regularly hold people back from acting. Nevertheless, a growing number of families are beginning to find structured, thoughtful ways to address them.

Concern #1: “What if I need the money later?”

A common reason parents hold back is uncertainty about their own future financial needs, especially since circumstances can change. Concerns about retirement income and long-term health care are valid, especially in a world where people are living longer and inflation keeps rising.

One way to address this concern is to avoid outright gifting a large lump sum. Instead, some parents are choosing to access their home equity using a Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC), which allows them to lend funds without selling their property or liquidating investments. Others are putting formal loan agreements in place that allow the money to be repaid in the future if needed. Another approach is to set aside only a portion of their equity to help their children while keeping the rest untouched for their own use.

These strategies allow parents to offer meaningful support without sacrificing their financial security.

Concern #2: “I don’t want to create entitlement.”

Some parents worry that helping too much, or too easily, might remove the incentive for their children to be financially responsible. The fear is that support could unintentionally foster dependency or diminish the importance of hard work and long-term planning.

To prevent this, some families are choosing to structure their support in ways that encourage accountability. One approach is to match whatever the child saves toward a down payment, reinforcing the value of personal effort. Others are choosing to co-invest with their children in a property, sharing both ownership and responsibility for the outcome. In some cases, parents are requiring that their children first meet with a financial advisor or mortgage specialist to ensure they understand the long-term obligations involved.

This kind of structure helps maintain a sense of shared responsibility, offering support while still promoting independence.

Concern #3: “I don’t want this to create family tension.”

Financial decisions within families can lead to emotional complexity, especially when they’re not handled carefully. If one child needs help, this could create conflicts with other children. Future divorces or property sales could also complicate matters. These are real, emotional landmines. 

One way to address this is to treat the decision as part of broader estate and family planning, rather than as a one-off transaction. Keeping clear records of what was given, and why, can help reduce misunderstandings later. Some parents aim to build fairness over time, providing different types of support to different children depending on their circumstances—such as assisting one with a home and another with education or business capital. Legal agreements can also be used to protect funds in case of divorce or the sale of the property.

Above all, open and honest communication is key. When intentions are clearly explained and documented, it’s easier to prevent resentment and maintain family harmony.

It’s Not Just About Money

Helping your children enter the real estate market isn’t just about financial support; it can shape their long-term trajectory. These approaches offer a way to support children’s entry into the housing market without compromising long-term financial independence or causing other problems. By reducing the amount they spend on rent, allowing them to build equity earlier, and providing a greater sense of stability, your help can have ripple effects that extend far beyond the initial transaction.

That doesn’t mean giving everything away or putting your own future at risk, but it does mean that the right strategy is necessary. It’s possible to protect your retirement while also giving your children a valuable head start. Thoughtful planning and structured support can make that balance achievable. The key is balancing generosity with prudence and ensuring that support is offered in a way that aligns with both financial realities and family dynamics.